Just to be clear...
This post isn't about lying (white lies or big lies) and it's not about skirting away from tough situations. It's about how I've created a 'second personality' at work because of the way I feel families and patients should be treated. It's about how I make sure my patients and their loved ones don't know about the pressure behind the scenes of nursing.
Thank goodness that's out of the way.
So, today. Not all days are the same when you're a nurse. Sure, there are patients that linger, patients that get cycled from ICU to step-down back to ICU and so forth. But for the most part, I am seeing new families, new faces and new questions almost every day I work.
However, today I had one of those experiences where you ride the fine line of using too much 'nursing language' and trying to take a lot of one on one time with a worried family member to ease their worry. So often, we ride this fine line as nurses. Trying to make every patient feel as if they are the center of your universe that day (no sarcasm) and also completing the mountain of incredibly important (sarcasm) documentation. Isn't this the classic nurse complaint/issue?
I have a practiced smile, a level tone of voice. I have an arsenal of finely tuned one liners for families. Today I used this skill to help calm the wife of my patient. Her husband was in my care, barely recognizable under the lines, tubes, wires and machines. She was ragged, having been at the hospital over 24 hours, being shuffled in and out of the waiting room to 'view' her husband and then be told 'we are going to turn/insert a tube/draw labs/etc, could you step out?'.
I make sure they first interaction I have with a family is with a smile. 'Hi, my name is Carissa. I'll be your husbands/wifes/fathers nurse today!' No matter the turmoil behind that curtain. Hit 'em with a smile.
I ask for their story. How long have YOU been at the hospital? Have YOU slept/eaten breakfast/showered? Lots of families forget that they are allowed to
go home and don't think of it until someone reassures them that they are allowed to leave. We will be here all day and all night.
Even if I'm just hanging a bag of potassium, I like to let them in on the little things when I have the time to explain. It makes the big things seem less daunting.
It can be so easy...
The to-do list for a nurse (any kind of nurse, ICU, ER, Med/Surg, Dialysis, L&D) is immense. Especially as a new nurse it can be hard to find your way around the to-do list and back to your patient and their loved ones. We are taught in nursing school that any patient isn't a diagnosis, they are a person. "We've got an AVR in this room, a diabetic in this room and this guys got hypertension"....whatttttt? As much as it can leak through sometimes, the rushed 'I don't have time to explain this to you' tone of voice makes patients and families scared. It makes them nervous. Do you have time for me? What if something happens, will you have time to care for my loved one? Even if I'm simultaneously drawing blood, reading vitals, hanging drips, checking pulses and checking for intact skin, my goal is to keep my tone of voice conversational and inviting rather than short, quick, one sentence answers.
I've found myself thinking about this a lot lately and studying family members. The more I can put them at ease, even if the news isn't great, even if we are making infinitesimal changes, learning how to spin it in a way each individual will understand is so important.
Ok nursiness to the side for a minute. My goal for this week was to go to the gym before work. I failed this morning. Set my alarm. Woke up. Rolled over and decided I didn't need to go. I'm training for a marathon in May and I have to be able to keep up with my sister the gazelle. So, tomorrow. Gym. Goals. These words aren't in my vocabulary at 4:30am but we'll see. Another day.
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